It is not unusual to overhear our teenage youngsters, mainly teenage daughters, criticise their parents. I remember when we were young some three decades ago and were going through the same teenage phase, I somehow didn’t want to put my feet into my mom’s shoes and so was the case with many of my friends. Very often I used to think that a mother’s role in the house was to work, work and only work .Her position in the home was very insignificant. Even for any cultural occasions, I would avoid dressing like a “mother”. But……I was so wrong in passing judgement on the importance of a mother in the household.
Now after so many years as I am nearing my fifties and with so much of hands-on “Mother” experience, I can see a noticeable change in myself and as well as in our teenage girls’ generation. Our daughters are no longer terrified or ashamed at the thought of transforming themselves like their mothers.They find their mother’s life motivating and thrilling. These girls are not only appreciative and talk proudly about their mothers. Furthermore they also see their mothers as counsellors.
For any family, raising a responsible, homely and well-mannered daughter is a challenge, no matter which part of the world you may live in or what family conditions may exist. And this can become a major trial for you if you happen to be a single mother. Your daughter will not have that pillar of strength standing behind her in the form of a father. But in some families, despite both parents being present in the family, daughters still find it difficult or rather uneasy to develop a close relationship with their father, especially if he lacks the responsive maturity or steadiness that is needed in good parenting.
Just having a father at home does not mean that he will be a good, caring and supportive parent. Some of them are there just to earn money, provide the basic needs of the family and rule over the family. Some fathers are even uncaring and at times abusive too. In these times,the role of the mother becomes extremely important – to be with her daughter and to become her confidante.
If you go around and see all those toddlers attending pre-primary school, their teachers will be able to tell you the difference between the girls and the boys at a very young age. At this age itself when kids are just 3-5 years old, one can notice that the girls are much ahead of the boys. They are sharper, more alert, responsive and well-coordinated. Their fine motor skills are much better as compared to the boys of the same age group. They do well in drawing, painting, arranging blocks and solving puzzles.
All these assumptions have a scientific base and even scientists say that girls learn more quickly to read, write and talk. Even their smallest projects or assignments are very neat and tidy as compared to their male classmates. All these rewards and praises about your daughter seem to come to a roaring stop as they begin their adolescence.Furthermore many mothers start worrying as to how their so well-mannered, well-behaved daughter has suddenly become so hostile and obnoxious. This is certainly not her personality. Is she in bad company? Is she over stressed due to her high school studies? Have I changed from a caring mother to an insensitive mom? Where did all these complications come from?
Don’t worry….even as a teenager all of us have gone through this phase. Just try to recollect our days when we used to throw tantrums and very often give rude answers to our mother in a fit of anger. Those were the days we took extra time while dressing up, spent hours in front of the mirror and even a tiny red zit on our face gave us sleepless nights.
In conclusion , I would like to say that your daughter is now undergoing her adolescent phase wherein she is not only experiencing physical changes but also emotional changes and this is a roller-coaster ride.
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