One of the important challenges of parenting today’s children is to get them to listen to you. Many parents complain that their children never listen to them and so it becomes very difficult to discipline them. Many child experts say that the tone or the mode of your communication is an important factor in getting your children to listen to you. In this post, we will show you How to Get Your Child to Listen and Behave.
Broadly there are 3 modes of communication that parents use to communicate with their children. In the first one, parents are very aggressive and resort to yelling and shouting. They feel that by shouting, their instructions will be followed by their children. The second type of parents are sweet and agree with almost everything that their child wants them to do. This results in the child taking their parents for granted. The third type of parents are assertive and firm but at the same time understanding and loving. This group of parents are the most efficient and succeed in raising well behaved children.
How to Get Your Child to Listen and Behave
Let us look at some of the ways that assertive parents adhere to get their children to listen to them.
1. Talk and address your child with their name.
Addressing your child with their name is one of the key things to get their attention and have maximum impact. As a human being, we love being addressed by our name.
Addressing your child by their name gets their attention and they are able to have an eye contact and listen to you. For e.g. Naysa, please clear your room or Joshua, you need to finish your homework before dinner etc. Children are more likely to hear you when their names are being called out.
2. Always try and use a positive language and tone.
It is important to know that children try and avoid instructions. So if you want them to listen to you then you need to make your tone and language positive. They should not feel the compulsion of being forced to follow anything. Negative language will only increase their resistance.
Try and say the same thing in a more positive way. For e.g., instead of saying Ria, clear your room now, You can say “Ria, please keep your books and toys in order, it will make your room look nice “ Or Jason, try and finish your homework before dinner time so that you can watch your favorite program. Try and keep your tone firm but calm. Children resist control and so it important to ensure that your instructions are genuine and have priority.
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3. Choose your battles wisely.
Most parents try and talk to their children on every matter. The result is children just shut themselves off and refuse to listen to anything.
In our daily lives, there will be many moments when you will be challenged to lose your calm and get upset with your children. In such times keep your calm and choose your battles wisely. Ignore the small and petty things and talk to them about the things that you really want them to listen to and improve. If you are able to manage this then you will receive a better response from your child. Your child will realize that his/her parents do not instruct all the time but only on important situations and so they are more likely to hear and follow you.
4. Give clear instructions and also let them know the consequences of not following them.
It is important for parents to give clear cut instructions for their children to follow. Try and give instructions with a positive tone and language. Your children should also be aware of the consequences of not following their instructions. Be consistent in ensuring that there are consequences for not following instructions. While giving instructions keep all distractions like mobiles, TV, gadgets away so that they are able to hear and understand that the instructions are a priority.
For e.g., you can say please pick up your toys and clear the room before dinner. The child should know that if the instruction is not followed then he/she will miss the next day playtime. If you are consistent in following the consequences for non-adherence to rules, you will see your child cooperate in a much better way. It is important to keep shouting, yelling and physical punishment out of the list. Try and have consequences which will have a maximum impact, like taking away the things they like or want to do.
5. Communicate and listen to your child.
Children need the attention of their parents. They want to share, listen and get advice about the things in their life. In today’s world parents hardly have time for their children. There are days wherein there is no communication between the parent and the child. Whenever children feel neglected and unloved, they are bound not to have respect and obedience towards their parents.
Try and spend time with your children daily. It can be a family dinner time or prayer time or casually asking them how their day was etc. This will help in building a valuable relationship with your children. Your children will feel loved, cared and respected. They will be more respectful and obedient towards you.
6. Praise their good work instead of complaining and nagging all the time.
It is important to praise children regularly for the good work done. Avoid complaining and nagging your children. Encourage them to do things on their own and give them rewards. In our house, we have some chores assigned to the children. If they do the chores on time and properly, consistently, then they get some bonus points for a dessert or for buying a book or a toy. Try and keep the reward non-monetary.
Every parent faces the challenge of children not listening to them. Parenting is a journey. Your child is unique, so see what suits you and your child the best and adapt to that style. The above tips can help you in getting your child to listen to you.
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