Disciplining children is one of the most challenging tasks faced by parents. Today, with the advancement of technology at a very rapid pace, the role of parents is becoming even more difficult. Age old parenting of spanking the child is no longer relevant today. Yes, there are times when we have been challenged with our patience and we do end up spanking our children in most cases spanking does not help in disciplining the child. In this article, we will talk about How to Discipline Your Children.
Most of us in our growing up years have been spanked. Experts say that if you have been raised with a corporal punishment like bottom spanking, slapping on face or back etc., then you are more likely to raise your children in the same way. Some may still feel that it is one of the most effective ways of parenting. Even well intending loving parents will sometimes use spanking as a means of releasing their own anger. However spanking does not help to Discipline Your Children.
Parents are challenged with their own stress, anger etc., which has resulted in low patience and spanking has unfortunately become a quick resort to release their frustration. Most of us will agree that children are great observers. They try to observe and imitate their parents right from their clothing, talking, eating habits and also hitting. If you are a parent who hits your child regularly, then they will also try to communicate by hitting instead of talking with words. Further, we have also communicated to our children that the way to deal with anger is to retaliate and hit back, which is wrong.
Ways to Discipline Your Children
1. Timeout for you and your children.
It is important that not only your children but also yourself need a time out to cool down. Most of the time the situations are very challenging and there is an immediate desire to take action immediately. No matter how difficult the situation is, this is not the time to discipline your children. Take time to cool down and deal with your own anger. This will eliminate the risk of taking out your anger on the children.
After you calm down, you can discuss the matter with your children. You can effectively find out if it is a prank deliberately done or a mistake or anything else. Talk to them about their mistakes and then ask them to take responsibility for their actions. You can give them a time out from their favourite things such as –
- No watching their favourite programs or cartoons.
- Giving them additional household chores for a week. Ask them to help you in laying out the dinner, folding clothes or cleaning the trash etc. Use this time as bonding time to discipline them and teach them values. Moreover, they also become more responsible for their actions.
- No weekend family dinner to their favourite food joint.
- Taking away their privileges for a short period of time.
2. Try getting your young children to release their energy creatively.
Most of the time young children are filled with excessive energy which results in fighting, yelling etc. It is important to channelize their energy creatively. Try to help them to release their energy so that they get tired and wind up to bed early. This will help to Discipline Your Children.
3.Spend time with your children.
Parents who spend good quality time regularly with their children are found to raise obedient children. Children need your attention and they will always try to get it. If you spend time with them regularly then they will no longer need to exhibit negative behaviour in order to get your attention.
Take time off from your busy schedule and do something together. Do something that the child wants to do as this will go a long way in bonding with the child. They will feel responsible towards your love and will not try to offend or hurt you. This is your investment in building your child’s character.
4. Keep clear rules and guidelines.
Children are great observers and they do very well in setting boundaries. Do not have a lot of rules, wherein it loses its value. Stick to the basic rules which are very important to the family. Clearly, define what is expected from your children. Explain to them the consequences of misbehaviour. Be firm and consistent so that they understand their responsibility. This will help the child make the right decision.
Some of the family rules to be followed to Discipline Your Children are listed below –
- Always be respectful towards elders, even if you disagree.
- Do not waste food but finish the food on the plate.
- No yelling, shouting or beating. Instead, try and resolve your differences through talking.
- Take the responsibility for your actions.
5. Reason out and explain the consequences of their behaviour.
Most of the time young children are not fully aware of the consequences of their behaviour. You need to sit and explain to them what went wrong. For e.g. you can explain the consequences of eating too much of junk food on their health or how they should manage their time more effectively etc. Explain to them why it is important to get up on time, study regularly, eat healthily and exercise. Once they understand the consequences, they are more likely to follow the same. Also, you need to keep repeating the same thing in order for the same to become a habit.
6. Train them to hear you.
Your reaction to their behaviour is going the set the tone for their future obedience and listening to you. You need to calmly and firmly let them know that they need to learn to make better choices. Motivate and encourage them to exhibit good behaviour. You can praise or reward them for their good behaviour. This will help them to differentiate and learn about obedience. No child wants to behave badly or be punished.
This will help the child to learn from their mistakes and avoid repeating them. Your positive behaviour will help your children observe and follow the rules more effectively.
The above are some of the ways to discipline your child without corporal punishment or spanking. One of the key things to learn is that while disciplining the child focus on 3 key areas – i.e. give them appropriate attention, train them to make wise choices and finally set the boundaries and be consistent in following the set rules.
Hope you enjoyed this article How to Discipline Your Children.
Please read our earlier article How to raise well-behaved children
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