One of the main problems that parents struggle with today is dealing with the attitude of a teenager. When your children start growing up, their attitude also starts changing. Having good and open communication is a major factor in dealing with teenagers. Though this is a phase which will pass eventually, you can always do things which will make the situation amicable. In this article, we talk about How to Deal with Bad Teen Behavior.
Many a time you find that teenagers are not interested in listening to sermons on time management, focusing on studies or health-related issues. No matter how true and realistic your opinions may be, teenagers will think in their own way. They will be dismissive and least bothered about the realities of life. It is important not to get into the power struggle of who is right and who is wrong. Instead, try focusing on the behaviour that you would like to see changed while ignoring their attitude.
Not every teenager is rude or disrespectful. Teenagers are developing their independence by trying to show differing opinions. In this process, they can be oversensitive, grumpy or rude. Sometimes they are just too stressed out and worried about all these changes and do not know how to handle them.
How to Deal with Bad Teen Behavior
1. Keep the communication Channel open all the time.
This is one of the important aspects of our children’s lives. They are faced with confusion, situations that they do not know how to handle, peer pressure and lots of curious questions. In such situations, effective communication will help them. There may be different points of view and some may be highly irrational, but ensure that you are able to build a consensus to get the major issues resolved.
Many teenagers feel unloved, uncared and go to the world for finding solutions but in the process are misguided by false information. A good communication channel helps teenagers talk about their issues and get feedback and opinions. As parents, you should be the first person that they should come to before going to the world.
2. Study their behaviour to get an insight of their feelings.
During teenage years, children go through physical, emotional and social changes. There are changes in their hormones leading to confusion, anger and stress. Most parents are also confused and stressed out as they suddenly find their obedient child back answering and being unduly rebellious. There are constant arguments which further isolate them.
The teenager behaviour can be broadly classified into 3 categories –
- Normal expected behaviour.
- The disobedient behaviour.
- The rebellious attitude.
In all the above situations, you will find huge differences in their interactions and communication. Their body language, facial expressions and words will hurt you or make you feel worried and anxious. You will tend to compare the child’s behaviour to their earlier growing up years wherein they were obedient and respectful. Now even small conversations easily become heated arguments.
Remember, some of the greatest qualities are to stay calm, use humour and ignore.
3. Set family rules for discipline.
It is important to set clear family rules about behaviour and communication. Children should clearly know their boundaries and they too should be involved in making these rules. Though you do not need to take into consideration every opinion of theirs, yet they should be given an opportunity to be heard. They should know the response and the disciplinary action that would come with non-adherence to these rules.
Some of the family rules that we follow are –
- Respecting elders and no back answering, even if you disagree.
- Eating healthy food without any grudge.
- Never interrupt while talking, wait for your turn.
- Treat everybody around you with respect.
- Always say sorry or apologise when you have committed a mistake.
4. Avoid Arguing and being defensive.
The most common mistake parents make is that they start arguing and become defensive. It is important to know that arguing rarely works. When we get angry, we say things which are bad even though we don’t mean them. In such heated moments just walk away and try to resume the conversation only when things are calmer.
The other reaction is that parents get defensive and take things personally. Remember your children are just trying to assert their independence. Nagging will have no effect on children but will only increase your frustration level. So patience is the key in these situations.
5. Try being a responsible parent.
The most important thing of parenting is to provide adequate love, care and attention to your children. We all make mistakes and we need to learn from them. Try talking to them no matter how difficult they are behaving as this will send a strong message to their defiant behaviour. If they have problems, they will open up due to your responsive and acceptable attitude. You need to show that you love them, but don’t like their attitude. These are two different things.
6. Always spend time with your teenage children.
If you are having a difficult teenager at home then you need to spend time with them. You can ask them to go for a walk together or together have a meal in a restaurant. Do not have an agenda to talk to them about any issue, but let these sessions be happy and good conversations. These small things can help ease out a lot of stress in relationships. It helps you both to come back into a comfort zone without being judgemental.
Though these are stressful moments in a parent-child relationship, if you make a conscious effort to reduce the distrust factor in the relationship, it will definitely work out. The above tips will help you forge a healthy bond in your relationship. Finally, all of us want to raise happy and healthy adults.
Hope you enjoyed this article How to Deal with Bad Teen Behavior.
Please read our earlier article Raising Teenagers.
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Tags: Bad Teen Behavior, Dealing With Teenagers, How to Deal with Bad Teen Behavior, Teen Attitude Problems